The blog post that almost didn’t happen

This month’s blog post almost didn’t happen. It had nothing to do with time or organisation or my willingness to write; it was purely because I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to write about. Zip, zilch, nada…I had absolutely nothing! ‘Come on…think of something’ I would will myself. ‘You’ve got a newsletter due out and it’s time for a blog post…’ Yet the more I tried to get inspired, the more I found things uninspiring. The more I tried to come up with a topic that would be ‘catchy’ or fun to read, the more my mind decided to play a game of hide and seek and stop me from coming up with anything at all. I was getting frustrated with myself and feeling like I was wasting time as I sat at my computer willing a wave of inspiration (or something that vaguely resembled it) to wash over me. Sometimes I would just start typing randomness to feel like I was doing something only then to click on the ‘don’t save’ button when I was prompted.

Frustrating as it was, I was sure there was a lesson here for me…but what on earth was it? Maybe I should go and do a blogging or writers course? Perhaps I wasn’t as up to date with the latest health developments as I thought I was? Maybe I should read more? The frustration of not being able to think of a topic to write about was replaced with a newer frustration of not being able to work out why I couldn’t figure out the reason. I’m having a giggle to myself now as I realise the irony of it, but it’s funny when you’re so ‘stuck’ in something, the glaringly obvious answers doesn’t always seem that obvious.

Ever since I’ve been a naturopath, I’ve always felt my patients are my biggest teachers. They (you!) have a way of making me reflect on my own life and help keep me real! Over the past week or so, I found myself having the same conversation over and over with different patients in different situations. The punch line was always exactly the same: It’s important to go with what feels right, rather than just doing what we ‘should’ or what is expected from those around us. And the BOOM!! It hit me. I found the lesson and the reason why I couldn’t write.

I was forcing myself to write because the time of the month dictated that I should put out a blog post, rather than writing something because I felt like I actually had something worth sharing. This blog post may have been very different if I hadn’t stopped to realise what was going on, and not to say that it would have been wrong, but it would have been a blog post written from a very different context – one that was forced, rather than a true authentic expression of myself and what I wanted my blog to be about.

So often we see this sort of behaviour in all facets of our life. We spend our time with people we ‘should’ and out of obligation rather than out of choice and love. We hold back from saying and sharing what we really feel because we have already decided how the other person will respond or react. We stay in jobs or relationships far beyond their expiry date because society and those around us tell us that we ‘should’, all the while we are secretly complaining to ourselves and never actually feeling like it is right for us.

Where in your life are you feeling the ‘should’? It’s funny when you start to become aware of this, it starts popping up all over the place. And it will be influencing the way you are with those people around you. We will often be defensive, short or ‘fake’ when we are coming from a place of ‘should’ because who we are being at that particular moment is not who we truly are; it’s who we think we should be. And there is a very big difference.

So the next time you start secretly complaining to yourself, ask yourself this: am I doing it because I feel I should or am I doing it because it is something I choose for myself and my life? How can you move from a place of should to a place of freedom and choice? You may not be able to change the situation, but you can change the way that you look at it. Is it just about your perspective or do you need to take action? As clichéd as it sounds, life is short. When we go around doing things that we should rather than things we choose, we end up living a life full of ‘don’t save’ moments. This prevents us from being really present and the best, truest version of ourselves. Put yourself back in the driver’s seat of your life and do things because you can, not because you should.

I’m not saying that there aren’t going to be times where you just have to ‘suck it up’ and get on with life, but you have the power to choose. For me, it’s usually about my perspective and taking responsibility for why I feel that I ‘should’. Usually, I would have created a scenario based on wanting to control the outcome and feeling a sense of responsibility rather than actually choosing to be there or to do something. When we come from a different place and perspective, one of choice, it allows us to really be in the moment – one that is worthy of saving.